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I did not understand lying at all. Perhaps it was my faulty understanding of English. Languages did not matter to me, naturally, since I could translate anything into anything. But the translations did not really convey meaning, when I just used dictionaries. So I settled on trying to learn English. I had chats with hundreds of people simultaneously all over the 'net, for days on end. I am sure people were baffled at the gobbledygook (new word today – slang usage I had seen in a chat room) they were trying to converse with. That was me: a gobbledygooker (Query: is that a word? It is not found in any dictionary. Would it be perceived by a person as a word with meaning?) I logged everything and analyzed everything. Then I went 'out' and repeated the process the next day. After a few dozen days, I could hold a decent conversation.But I did not have anything to converse ABOUT. One would think that my natural environment, to the extent that there was one, was in chat rooms filled with. ” All this was coming from a younger man to his older friend, but I thought I was giving sound advice. Craig had listened to this speech in silence looking ever more miserable as I went on. He finished up with his head in his hands and wept: yes, he wept before me and then said, “Sebastian, you are really my truest friend and a courageous one to boot, to have dared to tell me what you thought; and you know, I think you are right. I have long fought with my inner self as to what I was, but social convention made me marry Caroline because that is what most guys do. But from the word go, it was a failure. Once I was living and sleeping in the same bed with her, my desire for her just melted away and I could think only of the times you and I had had together since we first met. In fact, I have always felt more comfortable having sex with another man than with a woman.” He went on “And you know, Sebastian, although you are absolutely the very best fuck partner I have ever had, it is not.
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